How to Talk to Your Friends about Finances (and Why You Should!)
It hasn’t been until now, in my late 20s, that I have felt comfortable enough with myself to discuss my finances with the people in my circle. I think with age, maturity, and honestly just not really caring what people think anymore, comes a lot of freedom–both with yourself and your money!
It’s liberating! No more saying “yes” to an expensive birthday dinner for that girl that you met once or twice, or going out and throwing down when you would rather stay home under your weighted blanket and watch Cheer on Netflix (I know we have all been there!).
Being honest about what I can and cannot accommodate is so much more freeing than coming up with some lame excuse that everyone can see through.
That all being said, vulnerability can be scary! We all wish that we could do ALL the things – but the reality of adulting is that we just can’t, and that is okay. To help you get started down the road towards complete monetary accountability, I have highlighted some dos and don’ts when it comes to discussing your finances with friends.
Honesty is the best policy – with yourself and others.
Only do what is most comfortable for you when it comes to chatting about your finances, and if you come across a friend who doesn’t make you feel great about the topic – guess what? You don’t have to talk to them about it! You can simply say that you would rather keep it all to yourself and leave it at that.
If you really wish you could make it to a bachelorette party, but just can’t swing the cost, and every fiber of your adult self is telling you you should pay off your credit card debt instead – listen to her!
And just be honest with your friend because they definitely won’t believe you if you come down with a mysterious cold right before the trip and can’t make it. However, when you do find a friend that you feel comfortable speaking to, lean into them and dig into it! I guarantee you they will have similar worries and fears.
Share your goals and how you want to achieve them.
Your friends may have some tips of their own in the areas you’re not as strong. And vice versa! Whether it’s a big move that you want to make or a promotion you are pushing for that will help you reach a monetary milestone – your friends are striving for the same things and opening the conversation up can only benefit the both of you.
Talk about investing!
One of the most liberating things I recently started doing with my own finances was learning how to invest, and I wouldn’t have started if I had not chatted with a friend about how it all works, or more importantly what tools to use to get started.
Investing is a great way to feel confident and knowledgeable about your own finances, and a small way you can take care of your future self. Talking about investing and what you may be doing with your own finances could inspire a friend to dip their toe into the investment pool – and we need more female investors in this world, so spread the word! If I can do it, you can too.
Don’t be nosey!
Read the room when it comes to talking about finances with your friends – if someone clearly doesn’t feel comfortable sharing their salary, don’t push them! Instead, talk more generally about your own experiences with money, and try not to give unsolicited advice.
You will know quite quickly whether someone does or does not feel like sharing, and both are okay! It’s not about knowing the dirty details, but supporting each other on our financial journey.
Don’t gossip if someone shares their finance story with you.
That conversation should stay between the two of you and not be shared with anyone else. Talking about other people’s money when they are not in the room is rude, and not to mention terribly gauche.
Think about how talking about your own finances makes you feel vulnerable. Now imagine someone else sharing that private moment with someone else…not cool.
Lastly, don’t feel jealous or intimidated by where other people are on their finance journey.
Remember, everyone is on a different path, and no two jobs, salaries, or trajectories are the same, so there is no reason to compare. Easier said than done, I know, but in order to break barriers and get conversations started we as women have to stop comparing ourselves to one another.
Thinking and talking about your finances is the first step towards a healthy financial wellbeing. When you take away the scary veneer, talking about money and being honest with yourself and those around you is extremely liberating!
Keep the conversation going – you will most certainly learn something new and find your #financialfriendlyfriends. Yep, that’s a new hashtag I am going to start (make it go viral! #fff).
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